My first love... I have been on the look out for this and I never saw it coming. From first acquaintance it was like automatic chemistry. After leaving that first night I was totally addicted. I craved more and more attention. The butterflies in my stomach, constant smiles and giggles, non stop thinking of the way I felt in their presence. We started out seeing each other every Wednesday. Then more of my time was in demand. Everyday all day I constantly thought of our time together. The feelings were finally mutual, no guessing, no hoping, 100% on the same page.
One night a week made me feel like the only girl in the world, so what was to come if I decided to spend more time. I was scared, I had no clue of what I was doing. Could this be real. If you have ever felt yourself falling in love, it is definitely an experience. As much love as I felt I still felt the need to hold back, to not put myself out there. I just kept saying to myself, I'm ready but not whole hearted. I had never let anyone completely in, so the thought of exposing myself full frontal was still a challenge. I thought every kind of "what if". Being the control freak that I am, I wanted this just as bad as they wanted me. Each night I would talk to God and pray for the OK to let go and let him guide me in this journey of life and love. It had been some months of this love but I still was not in with both feet. I was straddling the fence to save my face. I felt as if I was cheating because I was still holding back, still allowing outside influences influence me knowing that this is where my heart was and wanted to be. So what was I to do. A good friend told me that anything worth having is worth the time and effort and to let go and let God. I kept hearing that phrase all over. I understood what it meant but it was so was for me to intervene and put my own spin on things. God was the only person that truly understood me and my logic, so I left it up to him.
So here I am almost 2 years strong with my first love. April 8, 2009 I met my soul mate. As much as I tried to deny my feelings but this love has continued to grow and manifest. So I want to take this time and tell my love thank you for allowing me to be me and loving me unconditionally. You are my everything and until you came along I was lost in search of something. You are everything and everything is you.
Comedy you are my true first love and I am in this for the long haul.... Ms Already
*now you know*
Nice!
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